When you analyze it, you will find that it is the adventure, the search for the knowledge of the other soul. This desire lives in every created spirit. The inherent life-force must finally bring the entity out of its separation. Eros strengthens the curiosity to know the other being. As long as there is something new to find in the other soul and as long as you reveal yourself, eros will live.
The moment you believe you have found all there is to find, and have revealed all there is to reveal, eros will leave. It is as simple as that with eros. When a certain point of usually quite superficial revelation is reached, you are under the impression that this is all there is, and you settle down to a placid life without further searching.
Eros has carried you this far with its strong impact.
But after this point, your will to further search the unlimited depths of the other person and voluntarily reveal and share your own inward search determines whether you have used eros as a bridge to love. This, in turn, is always determined by your will to learn how to love. Only in this way will you maintain the spark of eros in your love.
Only in this way will you continue to find the other and let yourself be found. There is no limit, for the soul is endless and eternal: There can never be a point when you know the other soul entirely, nor when you are known entirely. The soul is alive, and nothing that is alive remains static. It has the capacity to reveal even deeper layers that already exist.
The soul is also in constant change and movement as anything spiritual is by its very nature. Spirit means life and life means change. Since soul is spirit, the soul can never be known utterly. If people had the wisdom, they would realize that and make of marriage the marvelous journey of adventure it is supposed to be, forever finding new vistas, instead of simply being carried as far as you are taken by the first momentum of eros.
You should use this potent momentum of eros as the initial thrust it is, and then find through it the urge to go on further under your own steam. Then you will have brought eros into true love in marriage. Marriage is intended by God for human beings and its divine purpose is not merely procreation. That is only one detail. The spiritual idea of marriage is to enable the soul to reveal itself and to be constantly on the search for the other to discover forever new vistas of the other being.
The more this happens, the happier the marriage will be, the more firmly and safely it will be rooted, and the less it will be in danger of an unhappy ending. Then it will fulfill its spiritual purpose. In practice, however, marriage hardly ever works that way.
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You reach a certain state of familiarity and habit and you think you know the other. It does not even occur to you that the other does not know you by any means. He or she may know certain facets of your being, but that is all. This search for the other being, as well as for self-revelation, requires inner activity and alertness. But since people are often tempted into inner inactivity, while outer activity may be all the stronger as an overcompensation, they are being lured to sink into a state of restfulness, cherishing the delusion of already knowing each other fully. This is the pitfall.
It is the beginning of the end at worst, or at best a compromise leaving you with a gnawing, unfulfilled longing. At this point the relationship turns static. It is no longer alive even though it may have some very pleasant features. Habit is a great temptress, pulling one toward sluggishness and inertia, so that one does not have to try and work or be alert any more.
Two people may arrange an apparently satisfactory relationship, and as the years go by they face two possibilities. The first is that either one or both partners become openly and consciously dissatisfied. For the soul needs to surge ahead, to find and to be found, so as to dissolve separateness, regardless of how much the other side of the personality fears union and is tempted by inertia.
This dissatisfaction is either conscious—although in most instances the real reason for it is ignored—or it is unconscious.
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In either case, the dissatisfaction is stronger than the temptation of the comfort of inertia and sluggishness. Then the marriage will be disrupted and one or both partners will delude themselves into thinking that with a new partner it will be different, particularly after eros has perhaps struck again. As long as this principle is not understood, a person may go from one partnership to another, sustaining feelings only as long as eros is at work. The second possibility is that the temptation of a semblance of peace is stronger.
Then the partners may remain together and may certainly fulfill something together, but a great unfulfilled need will always lurk in their souls. Since men are by nature more active and adventurous, they tend to be polygamous and are therefore more tempted by infidelity than women. Women tend much more to be sluggish and are therefore better prepared to compromise. This is why they tend to be monogamous. Of course, there are exceptions, in both sexes. The unfaithful one may suffer just as much as the one whose trust has been betrayed.
In the situation where compromise is chosen, both people stagnate, at least in one very important aspect of their soul development. They find refuge in the steady comfort of their relationship. They may even believe that they are happy in it, and this may be true to some degree. The advantages of friendship, companionship, mutual respect, and a pleasant life together with a well-established routine outweigh the unrest of the soul, and the partners may have enough discipline to remain faithful to one another.
Yet an important element of their relationship is missing: Only when two people do this can they be purified together and thus help each other. Thus what is in each soul will emerge into their conscious minds, and purification will take place. Then the life-spark is maintained so that the relationship can never stagnate and degenerate into a dead end. For you who are on this path, and follow the various steps of these teachings, it will be easier to overcome the pitfalls and dangers of the marital relationship and to repair damage that has occurred unwittingly.
In this way, my dear friends, you not only maintain eros, that vibrating life-force, but you also transform it into true love. Only in a true partnership of love and eros can you discover in your partner new levels of being you have not heretofore perceived. And you yourself will be purified also by putting away your pride and revealing yourself as you really are. Your relationship will always be new, regardless of how well you think you know each other already. All masks must fall, not only the superficial but the real, which you may not even have been aware of.
Then your love will remain alive. It will never be static; it will never stagnate. You will never have to search elsewhere. There is so much to see and discover in this land of the other soul you have chosen, whom you continue to respect, but in whom you seem to miss the life-spark that once brought you together. You will never have to be afraid of losing the love of your beloved; this fear will be justified only if you refrain from risking the journey of self-revelation together. This, my friends, is marriage in its true sense and the only way it can be the glory it is supposed to be.
Each of you should think deeply about whether you are afraid to leave the four walls of your own separateness. Some of my friends are unaware that to stay separate is almost a conscious wish. With many of you it is this way: Quite superficial and vain reasons may be added to explain the deep yearning within your soul. But aside from this yearning and aside from the superficial and selfish motives of your unfulfilled desire for partnership, there must also be an unwillingness to risk the journey and adventure of revealing yourself.
An integral part of life remains to be fulfilled by you—if not in this life, then in future lives. Should you find yourself alone, you may, with this knowledge and this truth, repair the damage that you have done to your own soul by harboring wrong concepts in your unconscious. You may discover your fear of the great adventurous journey with another, which will explain why you are alone.
Pathwork Lecture # Questions and Answers | Summaries of the Pathwork Lectures
This understanding should prove helpful and may even enable your emotions to change sufficiently so that your outer life may change too. This depends on you. Whoever is unwilling to take the risk of this great adventure cannot succeed in the greatest venture humanity knows—marriage. Only when you meet love, life, and the other being in such readiness will you be able to bestow the greatest gift on your beloved, namely your true self.
And then you must inevitably receive the same gift from your beloved. But to do that, a certain emotional and spiritual maturity has to exist. If this maturity is present, you will intuitively choose the right partner, one who has, in essence, the same maturity and readiness to embark on this journey. The choice of a partner who is unwilling comes out of the hidden fear of undertaking the journey yourself. You magnetically draw people and situations toward you which correspond to your subconscious desires and fears. Humanity, on the whole, is very far away from this ideal, but that does not change the idea or the ideal.
In the meantime you have to learn to make the best of it. And you who are fortunate enough to be on this path can learn much wherever you stand, be it only in understanding why you cannot realize the happiness that a part of your soul yearns for. To discover that is already a great deal and will enable you in this life or in future lives to get nearer to the realization of this idea. Whatever your situation is, whether you have a partner or are alone, search your heart and it will furnish you the answer to your conflict.
The Forces of Love, Eros, and Sex
The answer must come from within yourself, and in all probability it will relate to your own fear, unwillingness, and your ignorance of the facts. Search and you will know.
Physical revelation is easy for many. Emotionally you share to a certain degree—usually as far as eros carries you. But then you lock the door, and that is the moment when your troubles begin. There are many who are not willing to reveal anything. They want to remain alone and aloof. They will not touch the experience of revealing themselves and of finding the soul of the other person. They avoid this in every way they can.
My dear ones, once again: It helps many who may be unwilling and unprepared for the love experience. As I said before, many use this feeling of happiness carelessly and greedily, never passing the threshold into true love. True love demands much more of people in a spiritual sense.
If they do not meet this demand, they forfeit the goal for which their soul strives. This extreme of hunting for romance is as wrong as the other, where not even the potent force of eros can enter the tightly locked door. But in most cases, when the door is not too tightly bolted, eros does come to you at certain stages of your life. Whether you can then use eros as a bridge to love depends on you. It depends on your development, your willingness, your courage, your humility, and your ability to reveal yourself.
It is so difficult for a woman to talk to a man. That makes it very, very difficult for the woman. Here is a great error, my dear. But let us first establish one fact that should be well understood. Woman is by nature more emotionally inclined. Man is by nature more spiritually, or on a lower level, more intellectually inclined.
By that I do not mean that he has to be what you call an intellectual. It is simply that usually the reasoning faculty is stronger in men. Because of this the revealing of his emotions is a very difficult step for a man. In this a woman can help him. The man will help the woman in other ways. The mistake you make is in thinking that revelation and the meeting of souls is brought about by talking.
Oh, it may be a temporary crutch, it may be one detail; or rather it may be simply a tool, a means of expressing certain facets. But this is all. It is not in the talking that you find the other soul or that you reveal yourself, though this may be a part of it. It is in the being that this whole and basic attitude is determined. It is the woman who is stronger emotionally. For her it is usually easier to muster the courage to meet soul to soul and touch the deepest core of longing that is also in man.
One cannot commit all decisions to God. Not deciding is a decision. This is not to say that one cannot sincerely desire to serve God, but this desire may also be a smokescreen to rationalize a weakness of the soul. Souls who are not part of the Plan of Salvation are consulted for their input before they incarnate. Preparation For Reincarnation , except that the latter group tends to make better decisions.
A lack of enthusiasm for life may indicate that the soul incarnated against his or her will, or incarnated too soon. Sex is not evil or sinful in itself; however, in its infantile manifestations, it is entirely selfish. The Forces of Love, Eros and Sex.
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The symbolic significance of Good Friday is that just as Jesus took His cross upon His shoulders, we must willingly bear the karmic consequences of our own distortions. In doing so — i. The picture language used by spirits is far beyond human language in its expressive capacity. When the ego takes over at the expense of everything else, there is a price to pay. The highlight of that time was my practicum experience I learned a lot and loved the program but I didn't really get to enjoy it because I was spread so thin.
At work, everyone was angry with me for being less available and not handling things well. My teaching in the TP program didn't feel like I was giving my best. And I began to lose workers, all for "good" reasons apparently unrelated to any of this, but at a deeper level, most certainly related. Things have begun to settle down in the last two months. But it is clear that I am not who I have always thought I was -- not any more. This past week has been particularly fascinating because my inner call became very clear and specific and I was able to observe how desperately my ego wants to ignore it.
My ego wants to believe that I am still a good administrator, very logical and organized. But my mind just doesn't seem able to function administratively any more. I tried to sort a huge stack of papers about 1 foot or more by year thru By the time I finished, I had six stacks of paper, some of which were in the wrong stack, and I felt more confused than before I started. The more I try to do administrative things, the more I seem to bump into difficulties with people and the bigger mess things become.
Contrasted with that has been the incredible ease with which I can move deeper into teaching and Pathwork helpership. I was down to three workers, all of them just part-time. I sat down for five minutes one afternoon and prayed, asking God for more workers so I could do this work that I love. Within a week, I had three contacts. Hours of work to demonstrate my "skills" in administration aren't working. But five minutes of prayer, when applied in the direction of my "call" produce almost immediate results in fact, one of the phone calls came within 24 hours.
So when we are following our call, there is a way in which it feels effortless, easy, in the "flow. And I discovered this week that this is precisely what my ego is afraid of. For when I do administrative work, I can have the illusion that I am in control. As the boss, I'm "in charge. My ego what the Guide calls my "little ego" is terrified! The lecture speaks to some of this next. It asks, "Now what does God want from you when He calls you? He does not expect you to be a martyr or to fulfill tremendous tasks, though of some of you he may expect the latter; he does not expect it from most of you.
Why is my ego so afraid of giving up control to God? Because it fears that God will ask too much of me, that I will have to make too big a sacrifice, give up any chance of happiness. But it is the pain of ignoring my inner call that make happiness impossible! The pain of forcing myself to continue to function in modes that are no longer who I am, the pain of trying to twist myself to be something I am not. So what have I to lose by listening to God's call? The lecture says that what God wants of every one of us as a necessary first step is self-development, self-purification and self-knowledge.
We must tear off our masks and all our self-delusions about who we are and our inner and outer motives. The Guide says, "Whoever is not quite happy and harmonious can answer himself this way: I have not quite followed God's Call. And that should be your yardstick and confirmation of where you stand and how much you are fulfilling, my friends.
I want each one of you, when you go home tonight, to think about the following: How satisfied am I with my life and with myself? I finally began looking at how unhappy I was. People I have always been able to work with were being "difficult. I felt so frustrated. I was blamed for things I didn't have control over. Things just didn't make sense. This is not how this organization is! Then a friend took me aside last week and we talked about the inner call I'd been feeling. She pointed out what a blessing it was that all these circumstances were coming to me to show me that administration is not where I am supposed to be.
It reminded me of the Guide's words about how, if we don't get the point, the lessons get harder.
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- ya lo se - una Trilogía Española (Spanish Edition).
The tighter I was clinging to my administrative job, the more painful it was becoming. So, at last, I got it! I gave in to my inner knowing that I was supposed to leave administrative work. First, a strong sense of relief! That came as a surprise. I began to breathe again. Then I opened to hearing more fully just what was to be asked of me. My prayer over the past week has been for God to give me the courage to do whatever he asks.
And my mantra has been, "I surrender to the will of God. Slowly, the answer began to emerge. I was to leave the region. Again, that sense of relief, mingled with fear. Go out on my own? Lots more breathing and recommitting to surrendering. Leaving administrative work was one thing, but leaving the family? That was a lot more scary. So I sat with the fear. I spent most of Saturday in what I can only call an altered state.